Strawberry Short Cake

I don't want to repeat exactly what Missie wrote, but I want to continue to give the "his" version of the events.  We know that most friends and family already know the story, but this is for the record.  I will break this down into three stories; starting from the happiest, working my way down....

14 May 2012, 0330 in the morning, Missie and I awoke at our Hotel in Lawton Oklahoma.  We've never been so excited to wake up that early before in our lives; as today was to be the happiest day ever (next of course to our wedding).  We were up, showered, and out the door; jumping into the rental Corolla and making the 30-minute trek to a small town east of Lawton.

We were worried at first.  The initial word from the social worker, M, was that small town hospitals don't take kindly to adoptions and that we may be looked down on.  WE?  We would be looked down on for wanting to give our son a life filled with love, family, and opportunities?  Maybe that was the first signal; anyway, we didn't care, we were having our first child, a baby boy, Alan Michael (AJ for short).

We arrived at the birth center at small Regional Hospital.  Expecting to find only a bed with some bottles of Tylenol on the shelf, we entered what looked like a very impressive facility with, what we would come to find out and get to know, very kind, compassionate, and loving towards us Doctors, Nurses and Staff.  It turned out M got her hospitals and towns mixed up....forgiven.

We met our birth mom, "I".  At 0500, she arrived.  To us, she was an angel.  She was giving us the greatest gift we could ever receive.  She was as kind and loving in person as she was on the phone.  We were in love with her.  She embraced us and referred to us as "his parents".  Choosing us to be the parents of her baby was a decision she was sure about, so sure, that when the time came, she allowed us to put his full name (Alan Michael) and our last name on the legal birth certificate.

We also expected, being the adoptive parents, that we would have limited or even restricted access to the birth center and to our son.  We were very shocked when we were treated as the parents.  Both Missie and I were allowed to be in the room.  We held I's hand during the whole thing.  I watched our son come into the world, the very second his head hit the air of the outside, I watched it happen.  Missie and I took one look and we fell in love with him.  Alan Michael, our son, at 6lbs 6.9oz, 18.5 inches, stole our hearts and we have never been so happy.

We had the name Alan Michael picked out months ago, but this was the first time we were able to announce it.  Alan Michael is in honor of our fathers, his grandfathers.

I ran and grabbed the local newspaper from that day.  How neat would be, years from now, to show him what was happening on the day he was born.

The next four days were magical.  We were parents.  The hospital had given us a room and the second AJ was born, he was handed to us.  He stayed in our room.  The doctor and nurses came to us for everything.  As far as they were concerned, we were his parents.  The nurse even brought him a small birthday cake.  Missie took a few pictures of it, we looked at it, the proceeded to devour it, since we have not had a thing to eat that day yet.  It was Strawberry Short Cake, and it never tasted so good.

Out of respect for I, we took him down to see her.  A couple times she had asked, but we wanted to show her just how loved he is and continue to reinforce she was making the right decision.  We gave her a gift; a small necklace with two hearts and a small diamond; signifying her, us and AJ.  A tiny gesture considering what she gave us, but it was was we could do.

We wanted nothing more than to just take AJ home, however I requested that he not be released until she was.  "Very normal" said M, I's social worker.   However, on Thursday, when they were to be released, I allowed him to be released to us.  Thursday was nerve racking; I had requested 30 minutes with AJ and legally we had to oblige.  That was the longest 30 minutes of our life...up to that point.  We cried and the only thing we could think is "what if she changes her mind?"  M send us the note, he was ready, and we raced to I's room.  I's last words to us were, "He's yours, go ahead and take him".  We scooped him up, secured him into his brand new car seat, and we took him "home", the hotel in Lawton.  Now we just wait until Monday, as I would appear in court, and terminate her parental rights. 

We took AJ and immediately went to a local frozen yogurt place and had a small celebration, just the three of us.  Then took him to the one place every newborn must visit immediately....the WAL MART, to get the essentials that would last until we got him back home to NC.

The next four days were magical.  We were parents.  We were getting up at 3am to change a diaper, feed him, and just cuddle him.  We put him down only to sleep, if that.  Having waited so long, we didn't want to miss a second.  The pain we endured with not being able to have children dissolved.  We were happy and we planned to love AJ with everything we had.  Friends and family were sending their well wishes in force, and he even got to meet his great-grandparents and two cousins who made the trip from Tulsa to visit him. 

For the record, I loved changing the diaper and feeding him at 3am.  To me, that was just more time to bond.

Monday couldn't come soon enough.  That Saturday, five days after AJ was born, M called Missie and told us that I had called her and was very happy and at peace with her decision.  Mostly, she talked about how she was impressed with me, that she saw me and knew that her son would have a solid father figure in his life.  Something he wouldn't have otherwise. 

Sunday, another friend visited.  AJ was already racking up the love from friends an family before he was even one full week old. 

This was magical.  Missie and I have never been so happy.  I loved our group family hugs.  Missie holding him and I would wrap my arms around them both giving them both little kisses.  We were a family and couldn't wait for everything.  For him to meet his grand parents, his aunts and uncles, his other "aunts and uncles" (friends so close to us, they would be called aunt and uncle to him), his pre-approved wives who were all going to meet at West Virginia University and comprise the WVU class of 2034.  He was going to the beach in late June for a family reunion.  Before he was going to be two months old, we would have already moved three times; as Missie and I got orders shortly before leaving for OK.  His 8th birthday will come on my 20th anniversary of serving in the Army.  What a ride this was going to be, and couldn't have been more excited.

Sunday evening, the day before court, M, the social worker would call us.  No worry, she called the day before to tell us how happy I was with her decision and she knew AJ was going to have a mother and father who love him and will give him everything.  Just as 14th May changed our lives forever, so would this phone call. 

Strawberry Short Cake.  Don't know if I will ever be able to eat it again.